The Quiet Fear That Follows Success

A little while ago, I sat with a senior leader who had just stepped into a much bigger role. From the outside, he looked composed — confident even — the sort of person everyone turns to when things get tough.

But as soon as he settled into the chair, he exhaled and said quietly:

“I’m waiting for someone to realise I’m not as good as they think.”

This wasn’t a junior manager. This was someone respected, trusted, and repeatedly promoted. And yet, this sentence comes up again and again — with CEOs, founders, partners, directors, and high performers across industries.

Imposter syndrome fascinates because it appears far more often than people imagine, especially when someone is right on the edge of meaningful change.

That quiet fear has a name — and it runs deeper than most people assume.

Not a gender story — a human one

Many still link imposter syndrome to women, but the research is far more balanced. Both women and men experience it; they often simply express it differently.

Women may speak about not feeling “enough” or battling perfectionism.

Men tend to hide the feeling behind overwork, taking on more than necessary, or trying to outrun the discomfort.

It often shows up at moments when the world expects strength: stepping into bigger roles, becoming more visible, navigating restructures, or carrying significant strategic weight.

These transitions are prime conditions for the question:

“Am I really the person they think I am?”

Your brain isn’t the problem — it’s the wiring

Whenever you do something new, your brain interprets uncertainty as potential danger. The amygdala — your internal alarm system — becomes alert, scanning for anything that could go wrong. It amplifies self-criticism, replays conversations, or triggers those “blank mind” moments.

This doesn’t mean you’re incapable. It’s simply biology trying to keep you safe.

Naming the emotion — “This is uncertainty, not incompetence” — helps settle the threat response and brings the prefrontal cortex back online, restoring perspective and decision-making.

What sits underneath imposter syndrome

This is the part many leaders never explore.

On the surface, imposter syndrome looks like self-doubt. Underneath, it is almost always a conversation about identity.

As you grow, your external world evolves faster than your internal story. You step into more responsibility, influence, and visibility — yet your mind may still be holding onto an older version of you:

The problem-solver.

The expert.

The reliable one working quietly in the background.

Leadership calls for a different identity:

The strategic thinker.

The decision-maker.

The visionary.

The friction between the old identity and the emerging one often shows up as imposter thoughts.

Many leaders also carry protective habits from earlier stages of their career — overworking, perfectionism, staying quiet, or avoiding visibility. These may have helped you succeed once, but they can become limiting as you rise.

At senior levels, the rules shift:

Clarity replaces certainty.

Influence replaces expertise.

Presence replaces knowledge.

It is entirely normal for part of your brain to whisper,

“We’ve never been here before.”

In many ways, imposter syndrome is a sign that something is changing inside you — an inner upgrade where your identity is catching up with your growth.

So what helps you move beyond it?

There’s no single solution, and — importantly — these practices are simple in theory but rarely easy in practice. Imposter thoughts are woven into long-standing habits, beliefs, and identity patterns. Changing them takes patience and repetition, not force. So if it doesn’t shift immediately, don’t be discouraged.

Here are approaches that consistently help leaders move forward with more clarity and ease:

1. Acknowledge the feeling.

Not fighting it reduces its power.

2. Build your evidence base.

Leaders forget their achievements quickly. Your brain needs reminders of truth, not perfection.

3. Update the internal rules.

Shift beliefs like “I must know everything” to “Learning is part of my job at this level.”

4. Don’t think alone.

Leadership is lonely. A thinking partner — coach, mentor, or peer — widens perspective and normalises the experience.

5. Take small, aligned actions.

Confidence grows when your internal identity matches how you act externally. Small steps reshape self-belief far more effectively than analysis.

A final reflection

Imposter syndrome is rarely a sign that you’re not ready. More often, it is a sign that you’re evolving — stepping into a bigger version of yourself before your inner narrative has fully caught up.

The real question isn’t:

“How do I get rid of this feeling?”

but rather:

"Who am I becoming — and how do I want to lead through this transition?”

If you're stepping up, navigating change, or strengthening your executive presence, I’d love to explore this with you. You can book a complimentary conversation here:

👉Time to Connect

Here’s to leading with clarity, purpose, and presence.

A few resources worth exploring

• Dr Valerie Young — The Secret Thoughts of Successful Women (and Men)A research-based exploration of classic impostor patterns with concrete strategies for shifting long-standing beliefs.

• Mike Cannon-Brookes — TED Talk: How You Can Use Impostor Syndrome to Your Benefit

A relatable talk on how self-doubt can sharpen focus, learning, and better decision-making.

• Lisa Orbé-Austin & Richard Orbé-Austin — Own Your Greatness

A structured workbook for understanding impostor patterns, challenging internal rules, and building a grounded sense of capability.

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